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Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>: | Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>: | ||
# Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right. | #Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right. | ||
# The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back. | #The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back. | ||
# But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband. | #But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband. | ||
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}} | The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}} | ||
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Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected. | Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected. | ||
== The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System == | ==The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System== | ||
There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam. | There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam. | ||
# A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds. | #A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds. | ||
# A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https:// | #A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Quranic way of giving divorce.]</ref>. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. | ||
In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds. | In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds. | ||
In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months. Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months. | In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. '''Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months.''' Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months. | ||
==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite? == | ==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?== | ||
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute=== | ===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute=== | ||
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.). | A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.). | ||
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But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children. | But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children. | ||
== Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands == | ==Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands== | ||
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>: | Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>: | ||
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Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below: | Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below: | ||
# Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society. | #Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society. | ||
# Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children. | #Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children. | ||
# Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband. | #Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband. | ||
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children). | This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children). | ||
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This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce). | This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce). | ||
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}} | The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}} | ||
=== Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband? === | |||
From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent. | |||
Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife. | |||
So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband? | |||
Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Khul%27#Faskh_.D9.81.D8.B3.D8.AE_.28i.e._dissolution_of_marriage.29.2C_and_the_unilateral_women.27s_sufferings: Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage)]. | |||
=== Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage: === | |||
This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband. | |||
Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through [[Khul']] in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free. | |||
Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly. | |||
This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands. | |||
=== Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce === | |||
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire. | |||
And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires. | |||
=== Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love === | |||
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed. | |||
The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman. | |||
Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction. | |||
== Fiqh differences regarding the 2nd Marriage with the intention of Divorce == | |||
There is a Fiqh difference among Muslims upon the issue of marrying the 2nd man with the intention of divorce. | |||
Present day Salafists deny the marriage with the intention of divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Intention of Divorce makes Tahleel Marriage invalid. Islamqa.com]</ref> and thus people should not wish to . But this goes against the "human nature" as the Hadith of the wife of Rifa`a proves | |||
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===3rd Defence: It is only the Hanafi Fiqh Ruling (i.e. marrying with the intention of divorce and Halala Centers), which gives bad name to the Islamic Halala=== | ===3rd Defence: It is only the Hanafi Fiqh Ruling (i.e. marrying with the intention of divorce and Halala Centers), which gives bad name to the Islamic Halala=== | ||
Modern Islam advocates (basically Salafists) also criticise Hanafi Fiqh and claim that: | Modern Islam advocates (basically Salafists) also criticise Hanafi Fiqh and claim that: | ||