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According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.
According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.


Islam critics deem this practice to be illogical.
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).  


The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.
==This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs==
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.


* It takes away the chance from the couple to reconcile later, and to correct their mistake.
Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>:
* And it is the woman and the children, who have to suffer mainly.
* It combines with another Islamic Ruling of Talaq in Islam i.e. if a divorced woman marries another man, then all her children will be taken away from her immediately.  
* Therefore, every divorced Muslim woman is compelled to choose between the two options i.e.  either she should give her right to remarry another man, or she should giver her right to have children. In both these cases, a family life of divorced Muslim woman (i.e. to have a husband and children at the same time) is broken.
* The only way for a divorced Muslim woman to enjoy the love and financial support of a man, and at the same time to keep her children, is to remarry her first husband. But again this door has also been shut for her due the Islamic Ruling that she could not remarry her ex-husband directly.
* Children will also certainly loose either their father, or their mother in this case.  


==This Islamic Ruling was taken from the pre-Islamic era of Ignorance==
# Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
ٰIslam took the following practices of the era of Ignorance of the Arab society<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>:
# The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
# But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.


* Talaq was only the right of husband, while women din't have this right.
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}}
* The 3 Talaqs system was also a practice of pre-Islamic era.  
Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).  
* A Husbands was allowed to take his wife back up till after the 2 Talaqs.
* But after the 3 Talaqs, the wife became prohibited for him, till the time she married another person, who later divorced her. Only after that, the former husband could have married her ex-wife back.  


For the people of time of ignorance, it should serve as a punishment for the husband that any other man also tasted his wife (i.e. had intercourse with her). But they didn't consult the women, if they wanted to be used in such a way or not, while women had a lower rank and they were not worthy of consultation.
Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man<ref>[https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9I3RzrTPfxEJ:https://www.aliftaa.jo/QuestionEn.aspx%3FQuestionId%3D2813+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=de No contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage in Islam.] </ref>. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".  
{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}}
Later, Islam also made it a part of Islamic Sharia too.


Nevertheless, Islam made it more difficult for the couple to reunite, by putting a condition that no contract could be made with the 2nd husband at the time of marriage, that he would later divorce her. This practically ended (or severely limited) the chance of reunion between the the first husband and the wife.
The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.  


==Why Muslim women still wish or even feel themselves compelled to go back to their ex-husbands?==
Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.  
Many divorced Muslim women wish, or even feel themselves compelled, to reunite with their ex-husband.  


The reasons are as under.  
== The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System ==
There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam.


# A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds. 
# A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https://www.thefatwa.com/urdu/questionID/4437 Quranic way of giving divorce.]</ref>. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. 
In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.
In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months. Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.
==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite? ==
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute===
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute===
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their dispute, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).  
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).  


But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.  
But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.  


Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake, and to reunite due to this Islamic Ruling.
Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.  


===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children===
===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children===
In case of divorce:
In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.
 
In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.


*Both partners have to live separately,
Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.
*And thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.
*In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.
*Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples may wish to reunite later.


But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.  
But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.  


===Third Reason: Islamic Ruling that a all the children will be separated from the mother, if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband)===
== Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands ==
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>:
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>:


*A woman will loose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
*A woman will loose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.
*Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place due to the "combination" of these 2 "Islamic Rulings".  
 
*They either have to deny the financial support and their wish to have love and attention from another husband, or to deny her children.  
In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.
*Only option for such divorced Muslim mothers to have a complete family life (along with love from any man and children), is to return to her former husband.  
 
Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:
 
# Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.  
# Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
# Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.  


This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).  
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).  
Nevertheless, this "Only Chance" has also been usurped by religion from her. Even if she wishes to reunite with her ex-husband for the sake of family life and her children, still she has to take many "risks".


==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce==
==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce==
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