The Humor of Islam

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The Humor of Islam

Book the-Humor-of-Islam.jpg
Author    'Az Zaqqum'
Language    English
Subject(s)    Islam, Qur'an, Hadith
Publisher    BookSurge Publishing
Released    June 1, 2010
Pages    236
ISBN    978-1419699245

Word from the Author

I am the Az Zaqqum, the bitter tree from hell. It wil be from the fruit of my tree that I will feed the dwellers of the hellfire… if I feel like it. The Quran says the hellfire will be filled with Muslim men and Jinn. And they need to eat.

The Hadith of Bukhari says that hell will be filled with women. Much of the troubles we see today are due to his Hadiths. It’s almost his feeding time.

My message is simple. You will never win a debate with a radical Muslim using logic or your laws. You can only win by using their own texts against them. When a radical Muslim is demanding special rights, saying they feel oppressed living with the Infidels, you can remind them that the Quran tells them to move to a Muslim country, or go to hell. 4;97

My name comes from the Quran as it can’t be found anywhere else. Muhammad saw me when he was flying on a strange donkey up to the heavens. He thought I was scary. I thought the donkey was scary.

After much discussion and thought, I have been ordained by the Jinn and Khadija to become the first Islamic Scholar for the Infidel and to write the first book ever on The Humor of Islam…you’ll die laughing. The title is a twist on a Sharia law that forbids laughing too much, which made me laugh too much.

I used actual ancient Islamic texts. I didn't make them funny; they’ve always been funny, which might explain the Sharia laughing law. And yes, some of the texts are choppy, strange and grammatically incorrect. But if I had fixed them, they wouldn’t be authentic.

You will not find another Islamic Scholar who makes defending radical Sharia raised Muslims so simple. If you have to defend your liberties, use their texts. The sword of Sharia cuts both ways. By the way, CAIR doesn't like this and I didn't care.

In the end, we know Muhammad is dead, but the Companions survive as Sharia shrieks. But knowledge is power, my Infidel friends. Sharia castrates men.

Product Description from

The Ayatollah Khomeini said, "There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious." He can't be serious. While it might not be politically correct to make fun of religion, especially one that’s likely to get you killed, I look at this as more of a religious book. By the time you get to the freaky Fatwas you’ll be saying; ‘Oh my God!‘ But, I challenge anyone to read this book and not find the humor of Islam. And it all starts with a Hadith....

Extracts from the Book

Bold text are author's comments:

Pick up your Quran and memorize the following verse (aya)

Qur'an 4:97 Lo! as for those whom the angels take in death while they wrong themselves, the angels will ask: In what were ye engaged? They will say: We were oppressed in the land. The angels will say: Was not Allah’s earth spacious that ye could have migrated therein? As for such, their habitation will be hell, an evil journey’s end;

Allah says, if you don’t like living in the west, go live in an Islamic country, or go to hell. I agree.

Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Abdul-Rahman al-Barrak issued a fatwa that condemned camel beauty contests because they were evil.

That still makes me laugh.

Narrated Salim’s father; Once Gabriel promised to visit the Prophet but he delayed and the Prophet got worried about that. At last he came out and found Gabriel and complained to him of his grief for his delay. Gabriel said, “We do not enter a place in which there is a picture or a dog.”

I guess a picture of a dog would be out of the question.

Do not cross your legs:

Moslem Gaber Ibn Abdullah said, “The messenger of God prohibited a man from crossing one leg over the other while lying down on his back”
Cross your legs:
Moslem Ebada Ibn Tameem said, his father said that he saw the messenger of God lying down on his back in the mosque while crossing his legs.”

Urinate in a standing position:

Bukhary; “The Prophet urinated in a standing position”
Do not urinate in a standing position;
Hanbel. “The Prophet never urinated in a standing position.”
This started new Rules for going to the toilet.

Aisha recalled: A verse that prescribed the death penalty for adulterers was written on a palm leaf that was in her home following Muhammad’s death. Unfortunately, a goat wandered into the house and ate the leaf before it could be collected into the Quran.

What happened to the goat?

Bukhari; “If one’s garment covers below his ankle, that part of the ankle will be in Hell.”

Sounds like Hell will resemble a Star Wars bar scene...ankles having a beer, looking to hit on a sex starved knee cap.

Narrated ‘Amr bin Maimun; During the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them.

Now all Muslim monkeys get married before having sex.

Images from the Book

Author's caption: "Yo dawg, you came to Iran at the wrong time. You can be arrested for walking. All that hair blowing in the wind makes the guys here lose it. I hate this Hijab….do I still look hot?"

See Also

External Links