Freeatlast2007 (former Muslim)

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This is a testimony of a Muslim leaving Islam. It was originally posted at the FFI Forum and has been reproduced here with permission. Views contained in these testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by WikiIslam. See the Testimony Disclaimer for details.
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Gender    M
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Born or convert to Islam? Born into Islam

Testimony of Leaving Islam

The splinter was lodged in my head some good 12 years ago and I went exactly through the steps that Mr. Ali Sina describes in this website. Yes, the whole sequence of phases he so articulately and audaciously describes is true, especially the part where the paradise of ignorance locks you out of the domain of blissful, numb ineptitude forever.

The whole doubt thing started in 1995 when the Hamas suicide operations against the innocent where at their peak, or perhaps it was just a time when I started to be a less callous observer of the world around me. My question was: "Regardless of the faults of the Israeli army against the innocent Palestinians, how can one fault justify another? How does this make us any better than the Israelis which we have been indoctrinated since the day we are born that "they are the ones who are wrong not us"? What about the September 11th attacks? Are these Islamically justified? How can God justify or accept seeing his children slaughter each other?" Islam, is supposedly an infinitely perfect revelation of God's own direct words. Surely would not condone such a "transactional rationalization"? Certainly not at the expense of a vicious, never-ending spilling of human blood of all things!"

I asked and asked and asked. No one gave me an answer that would satisfy my inquisition. Isn't Islam a religion of peace? To my surprise, I found out that, according to the Quran and Hadith - Sahih themselves - that the Prophet "was made victorious with terror." Alas, Islam derives morality from pleasing "Allah" and not from the act itself. Anything and everything wretched is eventually justified in the name of Islam: war, terror, poverty, melancholy and retrogression. After all, who are we to know what is right from what is wrong? We leave it up to Mohammed or Allah or whatever-you-want-to-call-him to decide given the stupendous breadth of his 7th century rationale.

This brought forth the next array of questions. If we cannot use our own rational faculty to tell right from wrong how can then we be judged by Allah? Also, doesn't Islam itself say that human beings will be judged, out of all the created species, by virtue of this very rational faculty that God bequeathed them? Then, how can we be punished for using it? And, if we do not use it, how can we tell if Mohamed is an impostor or indeed a prophet as he claimed? I am telling you my dear friends, since I was born, I tried and tried to convince myself that I love this person, Mohammed. I punished myself and coerced myself not to be a "kafir" as they say. How can I not love the "Mercy of God for all beings"? Well perhaps, I finally realized, it was perhaps, just perhaps, that this so-called prophet was not the "Mercy of God for all beings"! Violence, tyranny, pillage, pedophllia, murder and deception are not mercies from God my dear friends. Oh my God, how come I did not realize this simple fact sooner?

I am no longer in the garden of ignorance-is-bliss. I am so lonely in my newfound, simple, logical conclusion that Islam is no religion of God. However, I feel like I am on top of the world now. I have never been happier. I have never been closer to God in my entire life than after I left Islam. Now, I see God everywhere, in life, in love, in art, in music and in humanity entire. While I know this can spell my death, I can hardly keep my urge to share what I know with the rest of the world! To say that I am glad I stumbled upon this website is a huge understatement. It gave me the final nudge I needed to see the truth. To this extent and way beyond, I thank you Mr. Sina. I have read all the websites that argue against Islam and its danger to the civilized world; however, none come remotely close to how you understand this evil movement. You have blasted the shaky foundation, the very root. I have read all your debates. Cahoots to you, no one even comes close to refuting you - not even Montazeri of all people. This is because their system of faith is built on nothing but fallacies and lies.

Mr. Sina, please carry on. Please carry on. Show Muslims the light. Remove this dark veil that has been pulled over their eyes to blind them from the truth. They are genuinely good people with great propensity for love and real potential for greatness. 1400 years of mental subjugation and intellectual enslavement is long enough!

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