Wife Beating in the Qur'an: Difference between revisions

The commentators gave narrations of the cause of revelation of the saying of the most high (Allah) in the verse “men are in charge of the affairs of women.” And from these narrations it is mentioned by Al-Qurtubi that this was revealed when Sa’d bin Rabi’ suffered disobedience from his woman, Habiba bint Zayid bin Kharija bin Abi Zuhayr, so he struck her. Then her father said “O apostle of Allah, he harmed my honor and he struck her.” Then the prophet peace and prayers of Allah be upon him said “take vengeance from her husband.” Then she set out with her father to take vengeance. And then the prophet peace and prayers of Allah be upon him said “come back, Jibril has come to me with this” then Allah revealed this verse. And the word “qawwaamun” is the plural of “qawaam” which is on the Arabic pattern of fa’aal meaning in charge of a thing and protecting/guarding it. It is said in Arabic: so-and-so is “qawwaam on this” meaning he’s in charge of it, thus he is a steward of this, he guards it and takes care of it. And in Arabic it is said: this is “her qawwaam” to those who undertake in commanding her and being interested in her well-being and in guarding her and in her well-being and her the stewardship of her matters. Meaning: the men are in charge of the affairs of women, in guarding and stewarding them and provisioning for them and ensuring their manners and more in the matters that concern her well-being. Then he Allah, praised be he, mentioned two causes for this stewardship of men over women: The first of the two: their gifts and he mentioned it in the saying “in what Allah has favored the one over the other.” Meaning that the wisdom of Allah judged that the men should be in charge of women because of what he has favored men in as opposed to women as far as physical strength, increased knowledge, and ability to bear the burdens of life and life’s sorrows, and what that entails for defending them if they are exposed to danger in the world. Fakhr Ar-Razi said: I know that the favor of the men over women comes from many causes: some of them are characteristics of reality and some of them are the judgements of the shari’ah. As for the characteristics of reality, I know that the favors of reality go back to two causes: Knowledge and ability. There is no doubt that the mind of men and their knowledge are greater. And there is no doubt that their ability to work hard (is greater), so for these two reasons men have been favored over women (by Allah) in the mind, resoluteness and power.  And of the men are the prophets and the scholars, and the great and small Imams, and (those who engage in) jihad, and (those who call) the adhan (call to prayer), and (those who give) the khutbah (Friday sermon), and guardianship for the female relatives in giving permission for marriage. And all of this points to how men are favored over women.  And the intended meaning of the favor of men over women in the verse is a favor of one sex over the other, not the favor of one individual over another. For there are women who are stronger of men and greater of knowledge than some men. The first “baa’” (letter “B” in Arabic, a preposition) indicates cause, not a verbal noun, and the first “ba’ad” mean the men, and the second “ba’ad” means the women, and the pronoun which is attached to the first “ba’ad” indicates the joining of the two groups in the superiority (of the men). Allah the most high said “in what Allah has favored the one over the other” and he did not say, for example, “in what Allah has favored them (the men) over them (the women)” in order to show that the this favor is for the good of both parties, and it’s up to each of the two parties to fulfill their important duties that Allah has appointed them to with loyalty and obedience that the two parties might be happy. And as for the second cause: it is as a prisoner and Allah, praised be he, showed it in his saying: “in what they spend for provisioning from their wealth.” Meaning that Allah, lofty is high, made the men in charge of the women because of his favor to them, favoring the men over the women in knowledge and ability. And because of what the man has been compelled to provision for women from their wealth, and giving them mahrs (dowers) at the time of marriage, and taking care of them and maintaining their lifestyle. And Al-Aalusi said: and he (Allah) indicated that the man has the right to discipline/give manners to his wife and prevent her from leaving. And that she must obey him except should it cause harm, Allah is most high. And there is also the report (in the hadith) “If I (Allah) had commanded people to prostrate to any person, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate to her husband.” And this indicates also that it is possible to dissolve a marriage if the man is too poor to provide provisioning and vestments (for the wife). And this (is the opinion of) the Shafi’i and Maliki schools (of Islamic jurisprudence), because if he has left his state of authority over her then he has left the intended point of the marriage. And we have no annulment for Allah saying, high is he, that “and if it were a rough patch, look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.” And it also indicates that anyone who makes a restriction upon the husband towards his wife herself and not what is to her, then she should not act in it except for his permission, because Allah, praised be he, made the man in charge of her totally. And he is the overseer of her affairs, and keeps them safe. Then Allah, praised be he, set down the law in description of the circumstances of the women:And in the manner of stewardship on them (the women) according to the difference of their (the women’s) circumstance, their division is two: for he said as for the first: “a good women are obedient and guard what is hidden from what Allah had preserved for it.” Meaning: the good women are described in that they are obedient, meaning obeying Allah, lofty is he, and their husbands with a good soul and a content hear, and they are also described as guarding what Allah has kept hidden. Zamkhashri said: the hidden is against the shahadah. The women who guard it have a duty to the “unseen.” If their husbands were not observing them, they guard what is necessary for them to guard in the case of the unseen, (that is) their vaginas and the wealth of the house. And the prophet, peace and prayers of Allah be upon him, said that: “The best women are those if you look at her in your belly button, and if you command her to obey you, and if you leave her, she will protect you in herself and your money.” And the “what” in Allah’s saying “in what Allah has guarded” is expected to be that of a verbal noun, so the meaning is: that these good women are given their characteristics and also that they guard “the unseen” for their husbands, which must be kept because of what Allah has guarded for them and stewarded for them, for the success of the work that he wants and which pleases him. And it’s expected to be a connection, meaning that they (the women) guard the unseen for their husbands in themselves and their honor and their wealth and everything which must be guarded because of the matter than Allah has saved for them for their husbands, whereas their husbands must strive to provision for them with the best of them, and thus it’s up to the women to guard the rights of their husbands in return for that which Allah has saved for them (the women) for their rights (ie what they deserve) from their husbands. And in truth this precious thing gives praise to the good women, the giving women, the guarding women, who guard the secrets of their husbands and all of what must be guarded, honor and wealth or anything else, from what is judged to be part of their married life. This is the first area of responsibility of the omen, and the second is what Allah, high is he, said about the matter: “those women that you fear rebelliousness from them, admonish them, banish them from the bedrooms, and beat them.” The meaning of this saying “their rebelliousness”  is their insubordination and their leaving of their duties in married life, that is obedience of the wife to the husband. And it’s said: “The wife has rebelled” meaning: she made things hard for her husband and refused to follow what he says. And the origin of the (Arabic word for) “rebelliousness” is “nashz” meaning raising up from a flat plain to create an abnormality in the landscape. And thus the woman rising upon the obedience to her husband resembles a raised abnormality in the earth. The meaning is: this issue is of the good, obedient, women who guard the “unseen” because of what Allah has preserved for them, whereas the ones from whom you fear disobedience, meaning their disobedience (using a different word for “disobedience”) to you all (the men), and you will know them by their obedience to you, or their bad treatment of you, so admonish them saying what will affect their soul, and send them on the path to the good and beautiful, by mentioning to them how good the results of obeying the husband are. And as for the evil consequences of disobedience and bad behavior, lead them to the teachings of Islam and its manners and point them to what will heal their heart, and lead their soul to goodness. And ibn Kathir said: “Allah most high said ‘those from whom you fear disobedience’ meaning the women from whom you fear disobedience and who are disobedient to their husbands, those ones admonish them.” And the disobedience is the rising up of the disobedient women, and when she has risen up against her husband leaving (ignoring) his orders, her presence to him is odious, so when a sign of disobedience from her appears, let him admonish her and scare her of the punishment of Allah, for Allah has made incumbent the right of the husband upon her and her obedience, and has made forbidden bad disobedience/lack of faith to her wealth from his largesse, and the prophet, peace and prayers of Allah be upon him, said “if I would tell any person to bow down to another, I would have commanded a wife to bow down to her husbands due to the greatness of his right upon her.” And his (Allah’s) saying “expel them from the bedrooms” meaning this is what you need to do if you do not get any benefit from the admonishment, and the advice is to leave them alone in the sleeping places. “Bedrooms” is the plural of “bedroom” and it’s the sleeping place and the place of rest. And Qurtubi said: the expulsion from the bedroom is  to end sexual relations with her and sleeping with her in one bed, and show her his back and not have sexual relations with her. And mujahid said: “expel them (the women) from the bedrooms” meaning avoid the bedroom meaning expel (them) from the places where they sleep and sleep far from them. And Abu Dawud narrated from Mu’wiya bin Hayda Al-Qushayri that the apostle of Allah said: “what is the right of a wife of one of us about it? He said: to feed her if she needs to eats, to clothe her if she needs clothes, and not to strike the face.” And do not be disgusted. And don’t expel her to anywhere but (somewhere else) in the house. And his saying “strike them (the women)” inclines upon what is before it. Meaning if you do not benefit from what you have done from admonishment and expulsion, then strike them (the women) with a ‘non-intensive’ strike, meaning not overly strong or disgraceful, and it has been proven in sahih Muslim from Jabir from the prophet, peace and prayers of Allah be upon him, that he said in his farewell statement: “Depend on Allah for the women, for they are a dependent upon you, meaning your prisoners, and that no one tread in your bed that you might hate.’” And therefore do not strike them harshly/violently. And the scholars explained the “non-intense” strike that it not break the bone, and not cause injury, and leave the face, and it is in summary to be good and not to resort to it except when the other two remedies have failed previously. And Allah most high said, “and those from whom you fear disobedience from them (the woman)” and he did not say “those who are disobedient” to show that the husband must begin with curing the burdens of the wife from what appears of the signs of these burdens and their signs, and to not leave her until her until she becomes intensely mad and inflamed, but rather it’s up to him when he fears disobedience to solve the issue before the dime falls, and to be the one giving the cure in a wise way for her sake to convince and benefit her. And some of them explained the fear in that knowledge meaning that the (female) ones who know their disobedience, admonish them. etc And some of them add to this, saying: those women from whom you fear the duration of their disobedience, admonish them and drive them out of the bedrooms.etc. And some of them are able to say with an adjoining meaning: those women from whom you fear disobedience and who have disobeyed, admonist them and expel them from the bedrooms. etc. And the majority of scholars agree that it’s up to the husband to behave in a way to cure his wife with those 3 steps, the admonishment, then the expulsion then the beating because Allah most high ordered that and put the order in place of these punishments in that wise way that begins with the light punishment then steps up to the more sever punishment then to the most sever punishment. Then Fakhr Ar-Razi said: in general, mitigation should be taken into account as much as possible. And what the he points to the saying of Allah most high and starts the admonishment. Then he escalates to the strike. And that is sharp warning to those taking this course when the goal is in the lighter path, it must be followed, and it’s not allowed (in that case) to set foot up on the more severe path. And this is the path of those who said “this verse has made this order law.” And some of our companions said “the opinion of our school of jurisprudence is that when there is fear of disobedience he ought to admonish her, so must he expel her (from the bedroom)? There is a possibility. And at the expression of disobedience he (the husband) ought to admonish and expel her from the bedroom, or beat her. Then Allah the most high revealed what is necessary for men towards women if they don’t obey them (the men) or left their disobedience and rebellion. Allah the most high said “if they obeyed you all do not seek a path upon them for Allah is high and great.” Meaning if they return from their disobedience to obedience and they submit when Allah has imposed it upon them towards you all o men, do not seek a way (back) to enmity with them, or do not oppress them in any way such as injuring them with your tongues or hand or anything else, rather make it as though it didn’t happen and try to draw close to them in a manner of friendship and love. “Verily Allah is high and great” so avoid opposing his order, for Allah, , exalted is he,  has appointed you (the men) to be greater than them (the women). The noble revelation is meant to encourage husbands to accept the repentance of their women, and warn them from oppressing them, and warning them (the men) from oppressing them (the women) if they (the women) left their disobedience, and returned into the path of obedience and repentance. And some of them have said: these two lines in this context have the aim of good, and its cause are thus: first, the intended is to warn husbands from oppressing women. Meaning: that they (the women) were weaked from the pressure of oppression and were not able to get justice from you, so Allah, praised be he, made justice for them from you because he is a great conqueror. The second: do not seek (a way) upon them if they obey you, for Allah is greater than you all in all things. And the third: that Allah, exalted is he, with his loftiness and greatness does not burden you except that you can bear that burden, and as such do not burden them (the women) out of your love, for they will not be able to bear it. The fourth: that with his loftiness and greatness the rebellious is not taken if he repents, but rather he is forgiven, and if the women repents of her rebelliousness, for you should first leave their punishment and accept their repentance. The fifth: that the most high, with his greatness and loftiness, satisfied the servant (the Muslims) with the outward appearances and did not tear apart the conscience, for you first out to be satisfied with the outward appearance of the woman, and don’t fall into searching for what is in her heart and her conscience from love and hate.                            }}