User:Lehrasap/Sandbox 1: Difference between revisions

From WikiIslam, the online resource on Islam
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m (Halala Article)
 
(12 intermediate revisions by one other user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:


'''<u><big>Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce</big></u>'''


According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.


'''<u><big>Halala (Tahleel Marriage نكاح التحليل)</big></u>'''
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).


Halala is a Sharia Ruling, according to which<ref name=":0">[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_halala Nikah Halala (Tahleel Marriage)]</ref>:
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.
==This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs==
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.  


*If a husband and a wife are separated through divorce, and later they reconcile and want to remarry, then Islam forbids such remarriage and does not allow them to come together again.
Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>:
*Islam stipulates, there is only one way for them to come together again, and that is Halala (Tahleel Marriage نكاح التحليل).


In Islamic Halala itself<ref name=":0" />:
#Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
#The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
#But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.


#the woman first has to marry another man.
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}}
#And then that 2nd husband also has to taste her (i.e to consummate the marriage).
Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).  
#And if that 2nd husband also divorces her, only then she becomes eligible to remarry her former husband.


Islam critics objects that:
Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man<ref>[https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9I3RzrTPfxEJ:https://www.aliftaa.jo/QuestionEn.aspx%3FQuestionId%3D2813+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=de No contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage in Islam.] </ref>. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe". 


*If a husband says 3 times Talaq to his wife in state of anger, then it destroys the whole family in one second.
The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.  
*And it is the poor woman, who has to pay the cost of this illogical ruling, even if she is totally innocent and the divorce was totally the fault of the husband.
*For the love and sake of her children and family, if she wishes to remarry the husband, then Allah snatches away this option from her, and forces her to be 'raped' first from another husband in name of 'Halala'.
*Thus, Islamic Halala is against the human logic and wisdom. Thus it could never be from a divine being, who is claimed to be "All-Wisest".


==Halala Ruling didn't come from Hadith/Fiqh, but directly from Quran==
Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected. 
Halala is not a Hadith/Fiqh discussion, but a 'Unanimous Ruling', which came from the Quran directly:{{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}Therefore, no Muslim jurist every denied Halala. The only difference occurs in secondary details that<ref>[https://ur.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%AD_%D8%AD%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%81 Differences in Fiqh Rulings about Halala] (If a woman could marry to another man with the intention of divorce later)</ref>:


*Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband.  That is why, you will see lot of 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
==The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System==
*While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq.
There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam.


==Combination of 3 Islamic Rulings against the women in Halala==
#A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
Islam critics point out that Halala does not come alone, but it is the combination of 3 Islamic Rulings which make life miserable for a woman. These are:
#A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Quranic way of giving divorce.]</ref>. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.


'''(1) Halala:'''
In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.


Halala is nothing, except this that Islam is forcing woman to let herself get raped by another person in order to fulfil her wish to start her family life with her children and husband again.
In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. '''Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months.''' Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.  


'''(2) Divorce (or even Khul' خلع) is not the right of the women:'''
==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?==
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute===
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).


In Islam, a woman has not right to get her freedom in any case (either through divorce, or even through Khul').
But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.  


Yes, even Khul' is also not a right of woman, but again it is the right of the man. In Islamic Khul', a woman tries to get her freedom by offering ransom money to her husband. If the husband agrees, then he takes the ransom money and divorces her. But if he rejects the offer of the ransom money, then woman has absolutely no possibility to get her freedom.
Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.  


Please read out full article upon [[Khul']] for more details.
===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children===
In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.  


'''(3) Husbands are fully allowed to beat their wives brutally in every matter'''
In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.


Third problem is that Islam allows the husbands to beat the wives brutally, even with bruises, but still the wives are not allowed to get divorce or [[Khul']] through the Islamic courts. Wives could only divorce through the Islamic courts, if husband breaks any part of their body (like bones) during the beating.
Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.


In Halala, all these 3 Islamic Rulings combine with each other and make the life of the women miserable.
But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.  


You could see the combination of all three of them in action in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''."}}The Islam critics point out that this tradition presents the combined oppression of these 3 Islamic Rulings at the same time.
==Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands==
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>:


*Firstly, you could see in this hadith the husband beat her so brutally that her skin became green, but she was unable to get freedom from him (through divorce or [[Khul']] or court or any other way), as husbands are fully allowed to beat their wives in Islam.  No Islamic court is allowed to give her her freedom (except that any part of her body is broken during the beating). And [[Khul']] is also the right of the husband in Islam, and not of the wife.
*A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
*Even if the sole mistake is of the husband himself, and even if he is an abusive bad-tempered person, still Islam gives no chance to the woman to get rid of him and save herself from such beating. Islam compels the woman to live whole of her life with this abusive husband.
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.
*And 'Aisha was herself testifying that after the arrival of Islam, the Muslim men used to beat the women much more brutally as compared to the pre Islamic period (i.e. Kafir husbands didn't beat their wives so brutally as Muslim husbands beat them).
*And we see Halala in action in this hadith too, where that  Lady loved her first husband (or perhaps she wanted to go back to him for the sake of her children), but Islamic Halala prohibits it and snatches away this right from her.
*And the woman is in great risk and danger, if the 2nd husband proves to be an evil person, that he will abuse and beat her for rest of her life, and will never giver her freedom through divorce.   He will rape her against her will, and if she shows some laziness in providing the sex services to him, then he has the full right to start beating her like a wild beast and make her skin green and full of bruises.
*And here not only family is destroyed, but both the families are destroyed. The house of first husband is destroyed and the children are without the mother. While the house of 2nd husband is the center of beating of the woman.
*The children from the first husband are certainly going to be disturbed to see their mother to be tortured in this brutal way.
*And after the 2nd husband has sex with her, then certainly it will lower her status and value in the eyes of the 1st husband, and he could not love her as before. Especially, when Islam has also done this brainwashing too in the name of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghayrah Ghayrah].  ('''Ghayrah''' (Arabic: غَيْرَة‎) means a person's dislike of another's sharing in a right (which belongs to the former).  Whole Muslim society think bad about such Halala women.
*And how Halala is going to solve the problems between the husband and the wife? Therefore, the reasons (due to which they separated) are not automatically going to be solved due to Halala. Why then to make the life difficult for the husband and the wife and their children by imposing Halala upon the wife?
*And it is only the woman who has to undergo and face all these difficulties alone.  Either it is the period of 3 menstrual cycles during the process of divorce (where woman is alone in the house, but husband is allowed to enjoy his other wives and the slave-women, or it is the 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles after the divorce, or it is marrying the 2nd husband, and then providing him the sex services, and then again going through the process of 2nd divorce and then 2nd Iddah. Please read the [['Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period)|'Iddah]] article for more details.  In this whole process, man is totally free to enjoy his other wives and slave-women and he does not have to face a single difficulty.


Moreover, Islam critics say that:
In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.


*How could then it be said that Allah 'justly'  gave rights to the women too as compared to the men, and he has not done injustice against the women?
Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:
*And thanks to the western non-Islamic countries, who gave equal rights to the woman.
*And thanks to the West, who called the beating of wife by the husband to be a "Crime" and an "Abusive Marriage", otherwise Muhammad legalised the "abusive marriage" and made it the part of Islamic Sharaih, which is against the humanity.


==Islam advocates: The husband and the wife had to think about the consequences during the process of 3 Talaqs==
#Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
Islam advocates claim that Quran stipulated the process of Talaq which consists of a period of 3 menstrual cycles. This period is enough for the husband and the wife to think about all the consequences. And if after that, they still proceed for the 3rd and the final divorce, then they are themselves responsible for Halala, and Islam should not be blamed for Halala.
#Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
#Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.


While the Islam critics point out that:
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).


*What is the guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months?  Is it not possible that they need more time to learn their lesson?  For example, what if the husband learns his lesson after 1 year that it was his mistake to divorce his wife? Now tell us, what could be done in this case?  In simple words, if Allah/Muhammad are limiting this problem within 3 months, then Allah/Muhammad are not showing any wisdom, but this is a mistake and a blunder.
==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce==
*Moreover, it has been seen that the disputes are also solved if the couples don't stay under one roof, but take a break from each other. But in Islamic divorce, the wife is forced to stay in the house of her husband during the whole divorce process (which is about 3 months long).
This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).  
*Next Islamic injustice against the women is this Islam ruling if she remarries, then all the children will be taken away from her, and the first husband will automatically get the custody of all them<ref name=":0" />.
*And what if the wife is totally innocent, and the whole mistake was of the husband, and he still divorced her? (Note: Wife could neither divorce in Islam nor take [[Khul']])  But the wife still loves her husband, and her children from him, and want to return to him? What is the logic of Islam to close this door for her and to force her to undergo the shame of Halala in order to fulfill her wish?  It is totally 'natural' for a woman to wish to return to her first husband/love, and when Islam forbids it, and makes the life miserable for the wife (even if she is innocent), then Islam is not a religion of Nature, but it is against the Nature.


==A Muslim Owner could destroy the family of his slave-woman and do Halala with her as many times as he wishes==
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}
Islam critics point out that:


*Islam allowed the Muslim owners to rape the slave-women, and after fulfilling their sexual lust in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_mut%27ah Mut'ah] type temporary sexual relationship, they forcefully married her (against her will) to any of their slave-men.
===Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?===
*But if the Muslim owner again wished for her, then Islam fully allowed him to break the slave's family, and take her back again to rape her at any time.
From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5105|darussalam}}|وَقَالَ أَنَسٌ: {وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ} ذَوَاتُ الأَزْوَاجِ الْحَرَائِرُ حَرَامٌ إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ لاَ يَرَى بَأْسًا أَنْ يَنْزِعَ الرَّجُلُ جَارِيَتَهُ مِنْ عَبْدِهِ. </br>
Translation:</br>
Anas said: The meaning of the Quranic verse:  {وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ}  (Suran Nisa) is this that if the slave-woman of any person is in the Nikah of his slave, '''then he could taker her back from his slave for himself (to have sex with her)'''}}'''Note''': There is a distortion in the English translation of Sahih Bukhari, as this tradition is present in the Arabic Sahih Bukhari, but the Muslim translator of Sahih Bukhari didn't translate it, but he neglected it.


Islam critics claim that Islam is showing 'double standards' here:
Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.


*On one side, there are free man and woman, who want to again begin their life with their mutual consent, but Allah/Muhammad close this door upon them and their children and their family without any logic and wisdom.
So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband?  
*While on the -other hand, there is a poor slave-woman, who want to live in a family life modestly with her slave-husband, but against her will she is forced to do Halala by leaving her husband, and to to go to the owner, who rapes her again against her consent.


Islam critics point out that "Humanity" within us guides us clearly that:
Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Khul%27#Faskh_.D9.81.D8.B3.D8.AE_.28i.e._dissolution_of_marriage.29.2C_and_the_unilateral_women.27s_sufferings: Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage)].


*Halala is illogical.
===Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:===
*It is against the human nature.
This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.  
*This is not justice with the woman, but a great injustice against her.
*A woman is not getting any protection through this ruling of Halala, but contrary to it, she is loosing her protection.


Moreover, Islam critics claim that:
Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that  the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through [[Khul']] in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.


*Western Secular countries never claimed to be 100% PERFECT like Allah, but still they have tried to give women the "equal rights", and to do justice with them, and not to oppress them in any case.
Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.  
*Western laws are providing full 'protection' to the women from any injustices.


This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.


===Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce===
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.


<br />
And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.
 
===Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love===
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.
 
The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.
 
Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.
 
==Halala (Tahleel Marriage)==
In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again. 
 
There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Intention of Divorce makes Tahleel Marriage invalid. Islamqa.com]</ref>
 
*Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
*While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.
 
==References:==
<references />
<references />

Latest revision as of 03:54, 29 December 2021

Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce

According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran.

If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)

This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.

Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of[1]:

  1. Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
  2. The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system[2] i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
  3. But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.
It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.

Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).

Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man[3]. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".

The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.

Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.

The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System

There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam.

  1. A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time[4], then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
  2. A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce[5]. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.

In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.

In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months. Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.

Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?

First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute

A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).

But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.

Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.

Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children

In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.

In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.

Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.

But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.

Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands

Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that[6]:

  • A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
  • Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.

In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.

Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:

  1. Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
  2. Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
  3. Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.

This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).

Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce

This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).

The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:

Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"

Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?

From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.

Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.

So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband?

Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage).

Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:

This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.

Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through Khul' in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.

Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.

This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.

Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.

And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.

Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.

The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.

Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.

Halala (Tahleel Marriage)

In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again.

There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce[7]

  • Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
  • While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.

References: