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'''Khul' خلع (i.e. getting freedom from husband)'''


Talaq (divorce) is the right of only men in Islam. If he dislikes the wife, then he could divorce her without any reason. But if a woman dislikes her husband, then she could not divorce her. Thus Islam is criticised for being 'unjust' towards the women.
'''<u><big>Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce</big></u>'''


But Islam advocates claim that Islam is not 'unjust' to the women, and a woman could also get her freedom from her husband 'through the court', and it is known as Khul' (خلع).
According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.


Nevertheless, Islam critics point out that Khul' is in many ways an injustice towards the women, and it is not the counter part of husband's right of giving direct Talaq, while:
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).


*Khul' is not the 'right' of a woman, but it is still the 'right' of husband to either grant it or to deny it.
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.  
*And no Islamic Curt could compel the husband to divorce her if he doesn't want to divorce her.
==This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs==
*In Khul', a woman has to offer the ''''ransom money'''<nowiki/>' to her husband for her freedom.
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.  
*If he accepts the ransom money offer, then he could divorce the wife and she gets her freedom. But if he rejects the money offer, then she should stay with him, and no court could compel him to divorce her.
*Even if the husband is abusive, and he beats her brutally (even with bruises on her body), still she could not get her freedom through Khul'.
*Only in case if husband breaks any part of her body (like bones), then she gets the right to go to the court, and get her freedom. But she still has to pay the ''''ransom money'''<nowiki/>' to her husband, even in case if he broke her body part.


Moreover, Khul' is often mixed up with the 'Faskh' (فسخ) of Nikah, although both of them are two different things.
Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>:


In 'Faskh':
#Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
#The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
#But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.


*A women gets the right to go to the court, and get her freedom 'without paying' any 'ransom money'.
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}}
*But Faskh could take place only in few special cases (like impotency, or if he doesn't pay her the maintenance money, or if he has became insane, or if his whereabouts are not knows).
Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).  
*Nevertheless, Islam critics point out that Islamic Faskh is also an injustice towards the woman, while even in the above mentioned special cases, Islam still compels her to wait for several years to get her freedom and she suffers unilaterally.


==Quranic Verse about the Khul'==
Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man<ref>[https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9I3RzrTPfxEJ:https://www.aliftaa.jo/QuestionEn.aspx%3FQuestionId%3D2813+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=de No contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage in Islam.] </ref>. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".  
{{Quote|{{Quran|2|229}}|الطَّلاَقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُواْ مِمَّا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ أَن يَخَافَا أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللّهِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ </br>
A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them '''if she gives something for her freedom ( Arabic word:افْتَدَتْ  which means Ransom money)'''.}}


==If the husband is abusive and beats her brutally (even with bruises), still she has no right to get her freedom==
The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.  
Islam critics point out that following tradition, which shows that even brutal beating (even with bruises) is not enough that she could get her freedom through Khul' or through any Islamic court.
{{Quote|{{Bukhari||77|42|in-book}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil, and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating.''' It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Messenger came, `Aisha said, '''"I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!"'''


When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife.
Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.  


She said, '''"By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me''' as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment,
==The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System==
There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam. 


`Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Messenger! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her '''but she is disobedient and wants to go back to (her first husband) Rifa`a (by doing Halala with me)'''.
#A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
#A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Quranic way of giving divorce.]</ref>. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.


" Allah's Messenger said, to her, "If that is your intention (i.e. to do Halala), then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you."
In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.  


Then the Prophet saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}
In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. '''Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months.''' Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.


Therefore, this tradition tells:
==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?==
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute===
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).


#This woman was extremely unsatisfied with her husband, and didn’t love him, and wanted to get rid of him.
But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.  
#Since Khul’ is not the right of woman in Islam, but depends only upon the will of man, that is why she was unable to get rid of him despite having a strong desire for her freedom.
#And this 2nd husband used to beat her brutally till she got bruises all over her body. But despite this beating, he didn’t give her divorce or freedom through Khul’.
#And Muhammad didn’t prohibit that man from beating her, but made it a part of Islamic Sharia by keeping quiet upon it (known as Hadith-e-Taqriri).
#And Muhammad also didn’t give the right to the woman to take her freedom through Khul’ after such beating.


==Even if husband breaks any part of the wife, still she has to pay the ransom money for her freedom==
Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.  
{{Quote|{{Bukhari||13|54|in-book}}|Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:
Habibah daughter of Sahl was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas. '''He beat her and broke some of her part'''. So she came to the Prophet after morning, and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): '''Take a part of her property and separate yourself from her'''. He asked: Is that right, Messenger of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: '''I have given her two gardens of mine as a dower''', and they are already in her possession. The Prophet said: '''Take them (as the ransom money) and separate yourself from her'''.


Sheikh Albani declared this Hadith to be “Sahih” (authentic)}}
===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children===
Critics of islam point out:
In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.


*She could not get the right to have divorce automatically, even if he beats her so brutally that any part of her body breaks (like bones etc.), but she still has to pay the ransom money to get rid of such abusive husband.
In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.
*As compared to Islam, in the Western world, she will not only get the right to have divorce automatically from such an abusive husband, '''but she will also get the compensation money from the husband for the injury'''.


==A woman could not get her freedom through Khul’ even if the man is infertile:==
Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.
All 4 Sunni Fiqh Imams agree that the wife could not take divorce if the man is infertile.


{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211011105923/https://islamqa.info/en/answers/21592/ruling-on-asking-for-a-divorce-from-a-husband-who-has-some-medical-problems Fatwa Website Islam Question and Answer]|With regard to the man’s sterility, i.e., his inability to father children, this is not counted as a fault that would necessitate annulment of the marriage, according to the majority of scholars, apart from the view of al-Hasan al-Basri, and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah}}
But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.


Actually, it was impossible to find out if a man was infertile in the previous centuries. Therefore, it was impossible to blame the man for infertility.  
==Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands==
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>:


==Women who seek their freedom through Khul’ are hypocrites==
*A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
If a woman does not simply like her husband, and seeks to get her freedom by using the ransom money, then such a women was declared to be a hypocrite.
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.
{{Quote|{{Al Tirmidhi||2|13|13}}|عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ الْمُخْتَلِعَاتُ هُنَّ الْمُنَافِقَاتُ ‏"‏


The Prophet said: "The women who seek a Khul are hypocrites."
In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.
Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)}}


Sunnan Tirmidhi, Kitab-ul-Talaq:<blockquote>عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ الْمُخْتَلِعَاتُ هُنَّ الْمُنَافِقَاتُ ‏"
Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:


The Prophet said: "The women who seek a Khul are '''hypocrites'''."
#Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
#Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
#Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.


This tradition is “Sahih” (i.e. Authentic)</blockquote>Sunnan Tirmidhi, Kitab-ul-Talaq:<blockquote>عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَهَا طَلاَقًا مِنْ غَيْرِ بَأْسٍ فَحَرَامٌ عَلَيْهَا رَائِحَةُ الْجَنَّةِ
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).  


The Messenger of Allah said: "Whichever woman seeks a Khul from her husband without harm (cause), then the scent of Paradise will be unlawful for her."
==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce==
This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).  


This tradition is also “Sahih”.</blockquote>
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}
===Islam apologists: Woman is “emotional” and thus husband should decide for her if divorce is in her favour or not===
This is so wrong to only blame women for being emotional. Indeed, men could also be emotional and could make false decisions in anger.


But despite the extreme uncontrolled and extreme emotional nature of men in anger, still Islam made it so easy for man to say 3 times Talaq, and the divorce takes place.
===Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?===
===Islam Apologists: But Sunnah way of giving Talaq is 3 menstrual periods===
From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.
Sunnah or not, but Islamic Sharia indeed does allow men to divorce their wives in anger by saying 3 times Talaq.


Secondly, if the divorce process is 3 menstrual periods long, then not only husbands come out of their anger, but women will also come out of their anger or emotions. Thus, then Islam should also give this right to the women to give divorce after 3 months, while they are no more in state of emotions/anger.
Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.


Thirdly, if Islam does not give this right to women to decide for themselves even after 3 months (by blaming them of being emotional), then still Islam had to give this right to father or brother or son of the woman to decide on her behalf.
So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband? 


But when Islam says that if a woman wishes her freedom, then it is the Husband who should decide for the wife if divorce is in her favour or not, then this is not Wisdom, but plain Stupidity.
Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Khul%27#Faskh_.D9.81.D8.B3.D8.AE_.28i.e._dissolution_of_marriage.29.2C_and_the_unilateral_women.27s_sufferings: Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage)].
===Muslim women should ask these questions from themselves:===
If you are a Muslim woman, then please ask this question from yourself:


*If you were there in place of Allah, and you had to make the laws, would you have made such a law like Khul’ for the women?
===Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:===
*Do you really consider that such an “Unjust” law like Khul’ could be made by the divine owner of Wisdom?
This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.
*Do you accept this blame that only women are emotional, and thus unable to decide themselves for their lives?
*Do you find it fair that even in case of differences and disputes, and despite having a strong desire to separate, still it is the husband who will decide for you if divorce is good for you or not?
*Don’t you realise that this thing which is called “Allah”, does not give the right of freedom to you while he thinks that woman is a creature with “lower Intelligence Level” as compared to the man?
*Don’t you feel that these unjust laws like Khul’ are not made by any Divine God in heaven, but a MAN is present behind these laws, whose thinking is that women are of lower status than men, and she should always obey the men?


Your human rationale and humanity in you is enough to guide you and you could yourself easily differentiate between the right & wrong.
Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that  the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through [[Khul']] in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.  
===A Response from a Muslim woman: I never heard about the ransom money===
A Muslim woman wrote:<blockquote>First time I am hearing that a wife needs to pay ransom money in Khul'. If Im not mistaken a woman does not need to pay back the dowry. Also, they can ask for divorce through the court if the husband abuse her (mentally or physically), fail to give nafkah etc.</blockquote>'''Answer:'''


Problem is the Deceptions of Muslims, where they '''MIX''' one thing with another and keep thus hide the real face of Islam.
Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.  


For example:
This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.


*If a man is impotent and unable to penetrate, then woman take take divorce through the court.  But if the man is infertile, and could not give children to the women, then in this case women are NOT allowed to get their freedom through divorce in the courts, and to marry other man in order to get the children.
===Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce===
*And Muslims also tell that women are also allowed to take divorce, if man is not providing them with their maintenance money.  Although this statement by Muslims is true, but still it is not the "complete" truth.  Complete truth is this that woman has to wait 2 years if he is not providing her with the maintenance money. And only after this period (i.e. 2 years), Islamic courts will let the women to take divorce.
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.  
*And in case that:  * Man is ugly.  * Woman does not love him due to his bad habits.  * Or man is abusive and beats her brutally.  If woman wishes to get her freedom from him, then she simply cannot do it in Islam.  Yes, one possible way is to use the greed of her abusive husband, and offer her the dower (bridal gift) back, or even more than this (according to the demand of the abusive husband).  But still the final decision of her freedom lies in the hands of the husband. He could accept her offer and set her free, or he could reject the offer, and in this case all doors are closed upon her to get her freedom.  Not even the Islamic courts could provide her freedom from her abusive husband in this case.


===Difference between the "Islamic Laws" and the "Laws of Muslim Countries"===
And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.
Please note this difference carefully, while again Muslims try to deceive innocent people by mixing these two things.


Real Islamic Rulings have been described above (i.e. Khul' is not the right of woman, but it depends upon the will of husband to grant her freedom or not).
===Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love===
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.  


During last 14 centuries of Islamic history, this Islamic Ruling stayed the same.
The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.


But in this century, thanks to the Western Feminist Movement, even women in the Islamic countries are becoming aware of their rights as humans.
Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.


Thus, these feminist movements in the Muslim countries fought against this Divorce/Khul' ruling of Islam, and to surprise, they also succeeded in many Muslim countries in "CHANGING" this actual Islamic ruling.
==Halala (Tahleel Marriage)==
In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again.


Now in many Muslim countries, indeed woman could go to the court, and ask for the Khul' (without paying the ransom money).
There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Intention of Divorce makes Tahleel Marriage invalid. Islamqa.com]</ref> 


Actually, Islamic Scholars initially tried to stop this change, but this Islamic Ruling was so much against the Humanity, that they failed to achieve success in it.
*Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
*While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.


It is same like Muslim men didn't need the permission of first wife to marry another wife, but due to the strong opposition from the feminist movement in the Muslim countries in this century, now Muslim men have to ask the written permission of the first wife before taking another woman as a wife.
==References:==
 
<references />
For example, please read the following 2 Studies about how Courts were given the right to give freedom in Khul' without paying the ransom money, while Islamic Scholars opposed it, while according to Sharia it is the right of husband, and not the courts.
 
Study 1
 
Study 2
 
Moreover, if you want to know the Real Islamic Rulings, when a woman is allowed to take divorce from her husband, then you could look it here:
 
[[Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissolution_of_Muslim_Marriages_Act,_1939]]<blockquote>'''2. Grounds for decree for dissolution of marriage.'''
 
A woman married under Muslim Law shall be entitled to obtain a decree for the dissolution of her marriage on any one or more of the following grounds, namely:
 
(i) That the whereabouts of the husband have not been known for a period of '''1[one] years;'''
 
(ii) That the husband has neglected or has filed to provide for her maintenance '''for a period of two years;'''
 
(ii-A) That the husband has taken an additional wife in contravention of the provisions of the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance, 1961;
 
(iii) '''That the husband has been sentenced to imprisonment for a period of 2[three] years or upwards;'''
 
(iv) '''That the husband has failed to perform, without reasonable cause, his marital obligations for a period of 3[one] years;'''
 
'''(v) That the husband was impotent at the time of the marriage and continues to be so;'''
 
(vi) That the husband has been '''insane for a period of two years''' or is suffering from leprosy or a virulent venereal disease;
 
(vii) That she, having been given in marriage by her father or other guardian before she attained the age of sixteen years, repudiated the marriage before attaining the age of eighteen years:</blockquote>All these conditions upon a woman was a great burden and injustice. That is why even Muslim countries were compelled to abandon this Islamic Ruling, and allow the woman to take Khul' immediately in the Courts without paying the ransom money.

Latest revision as of 03:54, 29 December 2021

Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce

According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran.

If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)

This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.

Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of[1]:

  1. Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
  2. The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system[2] i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
  3. But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.
It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.

Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).

Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man[3]. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".

The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.

Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.

The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System

There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam.

  1. A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time[4], then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
  2. A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce[5]. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.

In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.

In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months. Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.

Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?

First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute

A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).

But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.

Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.

Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children

In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.

In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.

Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.

But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.

Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands

Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that[6]:

  • A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
  • Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.

In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.

Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:

  1. Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
  2. Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
  3. Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.

This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).

Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce

This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).

The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:

Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"

Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?

From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.

Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.

So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband?

Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage).

Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:

This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.

Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through Khul' in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.

Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.

This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.

Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.

And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.

Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.

The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.

Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.

Halala (Tahleel Marriage)

In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again.

There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce[7]

  • Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
  • While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.

References: