Saif (former Muslim)
 Testimony of Leaving Islam
I am an agnostic humanist born in the UK, and of Indo-Pakistani descent.
I have produced these videos from my blog/letter to my cousin (full transcript) because I dont want anyone else to go through the same feelings of guilt and sadness that I experienced during my process of re-evaluation. I hope that it provides the other side of the story in a balanced fashion, and saves others on the years of research that lead me to my present day conclusions.
I reguarly fasted, used to pray 5 times a day, I even kept a tally on the wall for the kaza prayers I had missed in case I forgot to do them later. All in all I tried my best to remain a good muslim.
However I could never rid myself of my doubts. I felt bad and alone, as I had never come across a muslim apostate before. There had to be something evil and wrong with me. I kept quiet and became insular and with great sadness, the more I looked into it, the greater my doubts grew.
That was right up till the day that my cousin said that I could not keep interpreting Islam to taste. I had to accept everything in the Quran was perfect or face the fact that I was not a Muslim. Before university I decided I could no longer continue this charade, so I accepted it to him, but more importantly to myself.
From that day my mind was finally set free from my self-imposed exile.
I later wrote a letter in reply to further questioning from him (see attached transcript above), and the videos were created from it.
Please add me on facebook.
If you would to discuss any of the issues raised here, then please visit me at the forum for the Council of ex-muslims (my member name is Islame) and you will find a friendly group of people for a chat, irrespective of whether you are Muslim or not. Here I will also be pleased to answer any questions you may have about me or challenges you wish to present.