Rima (former Muslim)
Testimony of Leaving Islam
I'm of Moroccan origin, but was born in Canada, so I do not know what it's like to live in a Muslim country. But still, since I was a kid my parents made sure I got a religious education, by forcing me to go to Sunday school and later a private muslim high school. I realized soon as a kid that questioning things would get me yelled at, and I was even told that if I didn't stop, I would go to hell. We were told horrible tales about judgment day, hell and so on. We were also told that before judgment day, Muslims will kill all the Jews and rule the world, and that was it for me.
I never bothered to research religion because deep down, I knew I'd become an atheist, the ultimate sin. But my curiosity got the best of me, I was tired of feeling guilty, conflicted and being afraid. I took the matter in my own hands, I read parts of the Qur'an, hadiths, prophet's biographies... I came to the conclusion that anyone, even I, could have done better than the Qur'an, and also miracles are only recycled theories from the Greeks. The Qur'an could have given us the cure to cancer, now THAT would have been a hell of a miracle. The prophet at first might have been a good guy, but as soon as he got power, he became a tyrant and a sociopath. He intimidated people by killing more people. That man terrified me, I was embarrassed by all the horrible things he had done. I could not believe Muslim scholars would keep in their books some of the hadiths or stories I have read, as they did not show the prophet in a good light. I learned the truth about the spread of Islam in north Africa, my ancestors were forced into Islam, probably raped and many killed. When I see north Africans claiming that Islam is the most peaceful religion, It enrages me. What shocked me the most was the sexism and double standards. Why would my brother inherit the double of what I get, simply because he got male genitals? What will the women do in heaven while their husbands will engage in orgies with virgins? Why can a Muslim woman only marry a Muslim man, when men can marry whoever they want? Why do women have to cover up? to avoid being raped? Men get a free pass, while women are judged harshly.
Today, I feel free and in peace with myself. I realized that I should have left religion a long time ago. I don't need religion telling me how to live my life and to be good person. I think humans naturally have morality it's innate to some extent, religions were created to disciplinate and have a better control over people. I haven't told anyone about this. My family might ignore me for a while, try to ¨reconvert me¨ or even disown me. It's not them I'm worried about, I'm afraid some crazy extremists might hear of it and come after me or my family, I have been having nightmares. There have been honor killings in Canada, and I don't think it should be taken lightly. I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut and living like a criminal, I hope one day even if I'm not part of this world anymore, other atheists like me won't have to fear for their lives and family's safety.
At the moment, I'm in college studying sciences and as soon as I can support myself, I'm moving out and probably leaving for a country or a city where no one knows me or my family.
I just needed to get this off my chest.