Liberate ur mind (former Muslim)

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This is a testimony of a Muslim leaving Islam. It was originally posted at the FFI Forum and has been reproduced here with permission. Views contained in these testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by WikiIslam. See the Testimony Disclaimer for details.
Liberate ur Mind
Personal information
Country of origin    Middle East Flag of Middle East.png
Gender    M
Faith Information
Current worldview Agnostic
Born or convert to Islam? Born into Islam
Parents' worldview Islam

Testimony of Leaving Islam[edit]

Hello everyone! I'm a recent "murtad" who finally found the truth.

I was born and raised a Muslim in a middle-eastern country (I'm an Arab). I studied Islam at school for 12 years. I started having doubts about Islam after I debated with some "kuffar". Most of the time I found that their arguments made much more sense than mine, but I still dismissed them because of my blind faith. I found that those kuffar knew exactly what they were talking about, and in many cases knew more about Islam than I did! That was when I decided to start my quest for truth. Over the subsequent few months I tried to learn as much about Islam as possible, from an unbiased point of view, my intention was to make my faith even stronger by learning more about Islam. How wrong I was! One thing led to another, the more I found out about Islam and the Quran the less sense it seemed to make. What frustrated me most is that a lot of stuff I found out through research wasn't even taught to me at school, like that hadith where Mohammad suggests that the sun waits under Allah's throne and asks permission to rise again. I felt like I had been bullied into believing in Islam ever since I was born without really being given a choice.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I came to the inevitable conclusion that the Quran is nothing but a load of rubbish and that there is absolutely nothing miraculous about it. I was very sad about this, knowing that all those years of religious education were a total waste of time. It was a very tough decision for me to make, I never thought I'd see the day where I become a "murtad", but at the end of the day glad to have found the truth. I also decided not to tell my family about it, I will still be a Muslim to them and as long as that keeps them happy i'm alright with it. I did tell a few close mates of mine as I had to get it off my chest and desperately needed to talk about it with someone who will understand me.

I know that I have found the truth, but I still sometimes get "guilty" feelings and start thinking stuff like "what on earth have u just done? leave Islam? are you for real? what about all those wonderful things they taught u about Mohammad and Allah? What if I do end up going to hell? What if I did get brainwashed by anti-Islamic Zionists after all?" Of course I don't believe in heaven and hell anymore but I'm sure some of u understand what I'm going through. It's not that easy to throw away something you believed in all your life.

One of the things I'm still unsure about however, is the concept of Jinns. What's your point of view on them? I heard many stories from trustworthy relatives and friends, many of which have witnessed Jinn interaction themselves. Too many stories in fact to dismiss as hallucinations or that sort of thing.

Thanks for this great site and keep up the good work.

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