Ilhan (former Muslim)

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This is a testimony of a Muslim leaving Islam. It was originally posted at the FaithFreedom website and has been reproduced here with permission. Views contained in these testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by WikiIslam. See the Testimony Disclaimer for details.
Personal information
Country of origin    Malaysia Flag of Malaysia.png
Gender    M
Faith Information
Current worldview Atheist
Born or convert to Islam? Born into Islam
Parents' worldview Islam

Letter to Ali Sina[edit]

Dear Ali,

I emailed you once back in 2000 when I first bumped into your web site. at that time, it was still a fledgling entity. My mail to you was short, indicating that I am a little bit disillusioned with Islam but am afraid to leave it due to the fear of hell. Like you, I used to be a staunch Muslim. but little by little, doubts came creeping in. 4 years later, I am not afraid anymore. I am a through-and-through apostate, and this is thanks largely to your erudite website.

By the way, I am from Malaysia , and our new PM is advocating Islam Hadhari, which essentially means moderate Islam. To me, his intention is noble, i.e. promulgating a "peaceful" Islam. but as you said in your articles, there is no such thing. Most Malay's version of Islam is simply adhering to the rituals and verbally condemning Israel and the US. That's about it. A minority in the Islamic state of Kelantan are fanatics. I also share your sentiment when you say that the spiritual Muslims are those who do not follow Islam to the letter, but more on the rituals to make them "feel" religious. Example is my parents, who are good people, pray 5 times a day (my dad does more, with all the tahajjud, doha , ishtikarah), fast, pays zakat, goes to mekah. Like so many Muslims out there, they turn blind when it comes to the unsavoury parts of Islam.

But I agree with you on your comparison of Islam's passive/non-enlightened followers to the Germans in World War II. Their indirect support if Islam strengthened it. So, I am doing my part to eradicate this ideology, albeit in a subtle way. My wife was the first to leave, followed by 2 friends; this site being the guide. I am making sure my daughter will not be victimised too. I also emailed your website URL to a few newspaper editors, who, not surprisingly, tried to advise me to "return to the true religion".

But the hardest part is that Muslims are all around me. to avoid being arrested and imprisoned or re-oriented, I pretend to be a Muslim. For how long I don't know, since I feel like exploding and telling all my friends and relatives, you people should be knighted! The hardest part is to pretend in front of my parents, who as I said earlier, are very religious. to tell them that I am an apostate would literally kill them. When I go back to their place, I will pretend to pray. What do you think I should do?

Please keep up this noble work that you are doing and do not be discouraged by the fanatics hurling abuses. Know that there are people like me supporting you all the way.



Response from Ali Sina[edit]

Dear Ilhan.

Thank you for your testimony. It always makes me happy to see my efforts are working and in my small way I am making a difference.

As for exploding, please explode on the Internet. Contain yourself when you are with your friends or relatives. There is no need for you to tell them they are benighted. Let them find out on their own. You tell others through the cyber space. Remember, enlightenment is not a cult. We do not need martyrs to prove their loyalty. Your first responsibility is to live and be a provider for your wife, daughter and good parents. I know it is difficult to keep our mouth shut. I sometimes act imprudently and get into discussion with people. But generally they end up in heated debates and they are totally counterproductive. The best way to fight Islam is through the Internet. God has made the Internet for us to get rid of Islam. So use the proper channel.

I think pretending to be a good Muslim in front of your parents is an excellent idea. You don't want to break their hearts. That is cruelty. Our goal is not to divide and cause disunity like Muhammad did. We want to bring unity and love between husband and wife, between parents and children, between siblings, relatives and friends. There is no truth in the world that is worth more that your love for your parents or your loved ones. Read what Muhammad said and do the opposite. He said O ye who believe! Take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love Infidelity above Faith 9:23 . You do the opposite! Get closer to your family and love them more. Just do the opposite of whatever Muhammad said and you will not err.

But of course I am not disheartened by the Muslim fanatics. Most of them are our future allies. After all there is a limit to the lies that people are willing to put up with. At one point they just can't have anymore of it. Actually those fanatical Muslims are the best. They are passionate and when they become enlightened they will use their passion to fight Islam.

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