FinallyFree (former Muslim)
Testimony of Leaving Islam
My story is fairly typical to be honest. I was born to Middle Eastern (I will keep this a secret as my story may become recognizable if I disclose the location) student parents and we moved to the West when I was a baby. My father was/is a very narcissistic man and he was always very abusive to my mother in all possible aspects. For years my mother tolerated this as she thought (like many Muslim women do) that she had to put up with this rubbish. Eventually when she could no longer physically or emotionally bear it, she decided to get a divorce from my father, which requires considerable strength from a Muslimah. Of course she had gone and disobeyed my father and was therefore excommunicated from the community and her old Muslim friends (who were all Arabic students like my father) would no longer talk to her. My mother had custody of me and I lived with her who is very ignorant of Islam and a warm and kindhearted person.
While my mother tried to bring me up the Western and secular way, my father tried to Islamify me again when he saw me. The tales he used to tell me were very attractive to a wide-eyed boy of 8 or 9 years old so I decided I wanted to live with him. My mother agreed being the type of mother who would go to the end of the earth to ensure that I would never be uncomfortable. When I moved with my father, of course I become more Muslim, and I absorbed it solidly, eventually he remarried a convert and she was a salafi in all terms of the word. I wont bore you with the next few years but let me tell you, this woman was extreme in all of her beliefs and decided to make my life hell.
After growing to an older age, my father decided that I should now live with my stepmother in his old country. Upon moving there I found the worst instances of human rights abuses, my father had never told me the gory tales of Islam as I was just a child but I saw these being implemented in the old country. I decided to leave and return to my mother, this was difficult especially as Islamic nations are strict and the father can stop you doing anything-traveling, buying, selling etc. When I finally managed to move back to the West with my mother (months after I was sent to the middle east) life was then a lot better, I was no longer under the strict influence of an abusive authoritarian. I was still a Muslim however but I always looked to the extremities I have seen as a misinterpretation of the Quran and I made myself blind, deaf and dumb with all of the other excuses that Muslims use (I need not list them here as you have all seen them). I lived happily as a Western Muslim (not praying but fasting etc) for a year and then I saw FFI.
I was outraged when I saw FFI. I emailed an angry letter and I was responded to by "doubtless" who articulately destroyed my argument and I ignored it by telling myself that he is using fancy language to deceive me (obviously I was deceiving myself). But then I started looking at images, videos and saw Islam being practiced across the world, from Indonesia to the United States, these pictures and videos were brutal and the humanity that was deep within me (I was an ignorant Muslim-not a terrorist one) was scarred. I immediately looked to the Quran, and Islamic refusals of such acts, and I told myself that all of the violence in the Quran was pragmatic and all of the hadiths with violence in them were false.
This did not satisfy my intellect one bit, but the more you accept religion (mainly Islam) the more of your intellect you throw away. I carried on with my life not thinking about Islam at all and focusing on all other issues in my life. This succeeded until I came back to FFI 2 years later (this summer) and decided I was strong enough to handle FFI. Far from it, the sham that was Islam was showing itself through the fallacies of Islam. Although I had not practiced Islam at all in the last 2 years, I was still a believer, as there is a clause in Islam that allows you to wash away your sins with repentance and a hadith tells you that no one with an atoms weight of belief in their heart will remain in hell forever. I went along with this happily, again until I read FFI.
At first I started browsing the forums, looking at links and arguments, and even though my knowledge of Islam was good (I had been to Islamic madrassahs) I couldn't refute even the most basic argument, neither could the Muslims on here apparently. I then watched a few videos by a website called investigateislam.com - these truly shocked me as I was laughing cum crying. I was laughing at the absurdity of Islam and crying at the fact that I was losing my belief.
I then decided to read the debate between Ali Sina and the two Pakistani scholars, Doctors Ghamidi and Zaheer. From the minute I read it I knew Islam was going to lose. Every point Ali Sina made was a point that could not be refuted. As he stated at the end, the debaters were excellent but they had no ammo to argue with. Ali Sina's 10 page responses dwarfed the 2 page "rebuttals" after wards which would question his character rather than refute every single point (which is what Ali Sina of course did) and the debate finally made me realize I am not tied down to Islam. It is a lie and I do not have to believe a lie, especially living in the west. I had always known there were inconsitencies, fallacies, fake science and other things that disprove the Quran but I always told myself that I was wrong, FFI was wrong, the doubters are wrong, everyone is wrong but Muhammad's puppet Allah.
Now I am free thanks to the West, the use of my intellect and of course FFI. I thank Ali Sina extendedly for his hard work and the sacrifices he has to make just to get the truth out there. I also thank everyone who has an input into this site from a regular forum member to the webmasters. I thank doubtless for completely killing my argument and allowing me to see that I was deceiving myself. The hardest thing now is convincing my mother and siblings to leave Islam, this will be very difficult as while she is a kind natured, good hearted person who has experienced Islam first hand, she is also a fairly strong believer in God. She gets offended when I question things in Islam. She is a typical ignorant Muslim, and it is a shame that such people think they need to go through Islam to worship God, even though the reverse is true, God can be found in perhaps any belief system other than Islam, which is Satanic or psychopathic in nature.
Finally I would just like to give you a small example of Muslim thinking. Remember Muslims, you are accountable for what your co-religionists do as you help them and support them. Non-Muslims, do not tolerate Islam, as the mentality with in it that you don't see on your liberal-all accepting-TV channels and newspapers is far beyond reformation and reinterpretation. There is only one cure, leaving Islam. Anyway, one day my aunt and I were walking along and this aunt is a mellow, matured aunt who I trusted (until this incident) for wisdom. She brought up the subject of my mother disobeying my father and I tried to tell her that it was because of what had been done to her and it is halal and rational etc. She then said words that I will never forget. She told me: "had it been my daughter, I would have grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the mosque for everyone to see, I would then have killed her with a knife with my own two hands and proudly have cut off her head to show to the world". Ali Sina is right, there is no such thing as a moderate Muslim, only an ignorant Muslim and a terrorist one.
Please remember Muslims that you are responsible for what you support, and that you may be held accountable for this one day. So leave Islam now or face the consequences.