Muhammad's Marriages: Difference between revisions

As for Muhammad’s other wives, it is true that most of them were widowed, divorced or both. Only [[Mariyah the Sex Slave of the Holy Prophet|Mariyah]],<ref>{{Tabari|39|193-195}}; {{Tabari|9|pp. 137, 141}}.</ref> Mulaykah<ref>{{Tabari|8|p. 187}}.</ref> and Fatima<ref>{{Tabari|9|136-139}}; {{Tabari|39|pp. 186-188}}.</ref> are not recorded as previously married.<ref>Since so little is known about these women, it cannot be asserted that they were ''not'' widows. We only state here that no previous marriages are ''recorded''.</ref>

By contrast, Sawdah was a tanner<ref>An-Nasa’i vol. 5 #4245</ref> and a perfume-mixer.<ref>[http://www.alim.org/library/hadith/TIR/927/ Tirmidhi 927.]</ref> So she was not in penury; she had the means to earn her own living. Nor was she alone, for she lived with her father and brother.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 130}}.</ref> It is not stated that they were wealthy, but they were respectable. Sawdah also had a son, Abdulrahman ibn Sakhran,<ref>Zarqani 2:260 states that he was killed at the Battle of Jalula in 637. If Sawda was born c. 580, she could easily have given birth to a son before 600.</ref> who is never mentioned as being part of Muhammad’s household. This suggests that by 620 he was an adult who did not need to move in with his new stepfather if he preferred to remain with his blood-relations; therefore he was also old enough to work to contribute to the family expenses. Sawdah’s father approved of her marriage to Muhammad, but her brother did not. Sawdah and Muhammad took care to finalize their union on a day when her brother was out of town; when he returned home and heard the news, he poured dust on his head.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 130}}.</ref> It seems he would rather have taken financial responsibility for his sister for the rest of his life than seen her married to his enemy.

Abdullah died from battle wounds in November 625.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 175}}; Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> Hind wanted to pledge never to remarry so that they might be reunited in Paradise; but the dying Abdullah would not accept the pledge.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:62.</ref> The very fact that Hind believed she would not want to remarry suggests that she was not worried about poverty. It is quite possible that Abdullah had some savings to leave to his widow. She was pregnant,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:66: “When I gave birth to Zaynab, the Messenger of Allah came and proposed to me.” There is some confusion here, as both Hind's daughters appear to have been sometimes known as Zaynab, although the first was originally named Barrah and the second Durrah. Obviously, Hind is here referring to her younger daughter.</ref> so if she needed to generate extra income, perhaps she planned to hire herself out as a wet nurse. However, neither of these options was her main plan.

As soon as Hind was free to remarry (18 March 626)<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> she received a marriage-proposal from Abu Bakr. Then she received a proposal from Umar. Then she received a proposal from Muhammad. She refused all of them. Muhammad then came to visit in person.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:63.</ref> In Hind’s own words: “When my ''idda'' was over, Allah’s Messenger asked to come to see me '''while I was tanning a hide I had. I washed my hands clean of the tanning solution''' and asked him to come in ...”<ref>Ahmad ibn Hanbal, cited in Ibn Kathir, ''Al-Sira Al-Nabawiyya''. Translated by Le Gassick T. (2000). ''The Life of the Prophet'', p. 123. Reading, U.K.: Garnet Publishing.</ref> Like Sawdah, Hind was a tanner. Muhammad happened to call on her while she was in the very act of working to support her children, which suggests that she had long since established the routine on which they would all depend.

When Muhammad repeated his marriage-proposal, Hind gave him a string of reasons for why she wanted to refuse, and he left her house disappointed. Muhammad had to argue her out of her excuses and propose a third time before she finally accepted him.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:63.</ref> They were married on or before 6 April 626.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> Of course, this raises the question of whether Hind truly wanted to marry Muhammad or whether she simply gave in to the pressure from the most powerful man in the community. Regardless of why she changed her mind, her on-principle reluctance to remarry indicates that she had been managing quite well on her own.

Muhammad sent his delegation to the Governor of Egypt in the final month of 6 A.H. (April or May 628).<ref>{{Tabari|8|p. 98}}.</ref> It was 7 A.H. by the time the Governor responded by sending Mariyah to Medina,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:148.</ref> but presumably he did this fairly soon after receiving the delegation. So Mariyah was probably in Medina by the summer of 628. It is not certain what services Mariyah performed for Muhammad’s household in exchange for being fed and sheltered. It is never indicated that she sang or danced or similar. Rather, the statement “The Messenger of Allah was alone with his slavegirl Maria in Hafsa’s room”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:149.</ref> suggests that Mariyah did housework for Hafsah, much as Barira did for Aisha.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 496.</ref> Whatever the arrangement was, it saved Mariyah from destitution. However, if Muhammad's intentions were to save her from destitution, he would have manumitted her and sent her back to her family in Egypt. But he did not do this.  

It was several months, perhaps over a year, before Muhammad took Mariyah as his concubine. Her son was born between 25 March and 22 April 630.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:149.</ref> This suggests that her month alone with Muhammad, when he refused to speak to his official wives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:136-137.</ref> was around July 629. The wives’ strong reaction to the situation<ref>See the story in Bewley/Saad 8:49. It is also told in {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, although Mariyah’s part in the story is minimised.</ref> indicates that they had only just found out that the housemaid had become a concubine - that is, she had not been a concubine for very long. So in this preceding year before becoming his concubine, Mariyah had nevertheless lived at Muhammad’s expense; and she continued to live at his expense afterwards.

Mariyah obviously did not “need” to be Muhammad’s concubine. He had already spent a year demonstrating that it was possible for her to live in his household without having sex with him.

Asma was a wealthy princess from [[Yemen]] who had lived all her life in luxury.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. Her tribe, the Kindah, were the rulers of Yemen.</ref> Her father hinted that he found Muhammad’s standard 12½ ounces of silver a “stingy” dower, but was forced to accept that this was all Asma would be paid.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}.</ref>

Muhammad selected Tukanah as one of his personal slaves. After that he had to feed her whether he had sex with her or not. So the fact that she became his concubine did not reduce her poverty. She would still have been living at his expense if she had only been his housemaid.

Nothing is known about this woman except that she was a domestic maid (a slave) before she became a concubine.<ref>Ibn Al-Qayyim, ''Zaad Al-Maad'' vol. 1 p. 29, cited in Al-Mubarakpuri, S. R. (2002). ''The Sealed Nectar'', pp. 564-565. Riyadh: Darussalam.</ref> So Muhammad had to support her whether he had sex with her or not. Once again, he could have equally well “saved her from poverty” if he had simply left her as a domestic maid.

Prophet Muhammad himself never claimed that he married women out of compassion for their poverty. On the contrary, he asserted that he, and men in general, chose their wives for four basic motives: for their money, for their family connections, for their beauty and for their piety. He added: “So you should marry the pious woman or you will be a loser.”<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|27}}.</ref> The suggestion that Muhammad’s many marriages were motivated by a charitable concern for the welfare of widows is not found in the early sources. This theory seems to have been devised by a few modern historians and then uncritically accepted by others.