Muhammad's Marriages: Difference between revisions

This article analyzes the often-asserted claim that most of Prophet [[Muhammad]]’s [[Muhammad's Wives|wives]] were poor widows whom he married to save them from a life of destitution.

People who assert that Muhammad “married poor widows” do not include [[Khadijah]] or [[Aisha]]. Everyone agrees that “Khadijah was a merchant woman of dignity and wealth”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> who eventually expended all that wealth on maintaining Islam.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 pp. 117-118.</ref> It is also agreed that Aisha, beside being a spinster,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> was the daughter of “a man of means,”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 223.</ref> “a merchant of high character” with “experience in commerce.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 114.</ref> She already had a fiancé at the time of Muhammad’s proposal, and her father had to break off this engagement before marrying her to Muhammad,<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 129-130}}.</ref> so she was certainly not looking to Muhammad to take care of her.

As for Muhammad’s other wives, it is true that most of them were widowed, divorced or both. Only [[Mariyah the Sex Slave of the Holy Prophet|Mariya]],<ref>{{Tabari|39|193-195}}; {{Tabari|9|pp. 137, 141}}.</ref> Mulayka<ref>{{Tabari|8|p. 187}}.</ref> and Fatima<ref>{{Tabari|9|136-139}}; {{Tabari|39|pp. 186-188}}.</ref> are not recorded as previously married.<ref>Since so little is known about these women, it cannot be asserted that they were ''not'' widows. We only state here that no previous marriages are ''recorded''.</ref>

Muhammad married Sawdah in May 620.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 170}}.</ref> It is not known how Muhamnmad was making his living in his last few years in Mecca, but he does not seem to have been able to re-launch Khadijah’s merchant business. If it is true that ''all'' of Khadijah’s wealth had been expended in the days of the blockade,<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 pp. 117-118.</ref> Muhammad was now bankrupt. He certainly did not seem to have any resources of his own by the time of the ''Hijra'' in September 622: all the expenses of his journey were paid by Abu Bakr.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 223</ref>

By contrast, Sawdah was a tanner<ref>Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., Donzel E. van, & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (1960–2005). “''Dabbagh''” in ''The Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Leiden: E. J. Brill. See also Ghadanfar, M. A. (2001). ''Great Women of Islam''. Translated by J. M. Qawi, p. 16. Riyadh: Darussalam.</ref> and a perfume-mixer.<ref>[http://www.alim.org/library/hadith/TIR/927/ Tirmidhi 927.]</ref> So she was not in penury; she had the means to earn her own living. Nor was she alone, for she lived with her father and brother.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 130}}.</ref> It is not stated that they were wealthy, but they were respectable. Sawdah also had a son, Abdulrahman ibn Sakhran,<ref>Zarqani 2:260 states that he was killed at the Battle of Jalula in 637. If Sawda was born c. 580, she could easily have given birth to a son before 600.</ref> who is never mentioned as being part of Muhammad’s household. This suggests that by 620 he was an adult who did not need to move in with his new stepfather if he preferred to remain with his blood-relations; therefore he was also old enough to work to contribute to the family expenses. Sawdah’s father approved of her marriage to Muhammad, but her brother did not. Sawdah and Muhammad took care to finalise their union on a day when her brother was out of town; when he returned home and heard the news, he poured dust on his head.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 130}}.</ref> It seems he would rather have taken financial responsibility for his sister for the rest of his life than seen her married to his enemy.

As a general commentary on the social problems in the Muslim community, it should be noted that at this early date, the Muslims had not fought a single battle. No Muslim “died in the wars” before the [[Islam Undressed: The Battle of Badr|Battle of Badr]] in 624,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 289ff.</ref> an event that nobody could have foreseen in 620. In fact the only Muslim who had so far died violently was a woman.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 145.</ref> So it is not true that there was a problem with finding enough men to take care of the numerous widows. On the contrary, the gender imbalance appears to have been in the opposite direction. The Egyptian scholar Al-Suyuti compares different traditions about Umar’s conversion in 616: “He embraced the faith early — after the conversion of 40 men and 10 women — or as some say, after 39 men and 23 women, and others, 45 men and 11 women.”<ref>Al-Suyuti, ''Tarikh al-Khulafa''. Translation by Jarrett, H. S. (1881). ''History of the Caliphs'', p. 112. Caclutta: The Asiatic Society.</ref> In fact all these numbers are wrong, for Ibn Ishaq’s list of Muslims who emigrated to Abyssinia in 615 includes 83 men and 18 women.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 146-148.</ref> His list of Muslims converted by Abu Bakr has 41 men and 9 women.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115-117.</ref> One consistency among all these lists, however, is that the early Muslims seemed to comprise ''far'' more men than women, probably twice as many. Besides, many of the Muslim women whose names are missing from these early lists<ref>There is no mention of Khadijah and her daughters, nor of Umm Ruman, nor of the numerous sisters of Lubabah bint Al-Harith ({{Tabari|39|p. 201}}).</ref> were married to pagan men; so even if they had been “numerous” (although they probably were not), they would not have been part of any problem of “homeless widows”.

Zaynab had plenty of family in Medina. At her funeral, just eight months after her wedding, “three of her brothers” were present.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:82.</ref> Her deceased husband Ubayda also had two brothers, Al-Tufayl and Al-Husayn, who had accompanied him to Medina<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 218.</ref> and had fought with him at Badr.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 328.</ref> Further, Zaynab was on good terms with her pagan relatives in Mecca. Her cousin Qubaysa ibn Amr made the journey out to Medina so that he could arrange her marriage to Muhammad,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> even though this could have easily been done by one of her brothers in Medina.

Abdullah died from battle wounds in November 625.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 175}}; Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> Hind wanted to pledge never to remarry so that they might be reunited in Paradise; but the dying Abdullah would not accept the pledge.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:62.</ref> The very fact that Hind believed she would not want to remarry suggests that she was not worried about poverty. It is quite possible that Abdullah had some savings to leave to his widow. She was pregnant,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:66: “When I gave birth to Zaynab, the Messenger of Allah came and proposed to me.” There is some confusion here, as both Hind's daughters appear to have been sometimes known as Zaynab, although the first was originally named Barra and the second Durra. Obviously, Hind is here referring to her younger daughter.</ref> so if she needed to generate more income, perhaps she planned to hire herself out as a wet nurse.

As an aside, it is sometimes stated that Hind was a tanner. Muslim websites include such statements as: “Khadija and Umm Salama ran their own businesses, Khadija in trade and Umm Salama selling crafts,”<ref>[http://www.wisemuslimwomen.org/resources/protectingwealth/ “Protecting and Promoting Religion” in ''WISE''.]</ref> and, “Umm Salamah, one of the wives of the Prophet also processed leather.”<ref>[http://www.lastprophet.info/zaynab-bint-jahsh-wife-of-the-prophet-and-mother-of-the-believers/ Zaynab bint Jahsh: Wife of the Prophet and Mother of the Believers” in ''lastprophet.info''.]</ref> This seems to be because the name ''Umm Salama'' literally means “mother of tanning”. But there is no other evidence that she ever worked in the trade. On the contrary, she was the mother of an actual son named Salama,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:61: “There she bore him Zaynab. After that she bore him Salama, Umar and Durra.”</ref> so the name was a true ''kunya'' and not a nickname or by-name.

As soon as Hind was free to remarry (18 March 626)<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> she received a marriage-proposal from Abu Bakr. Then she received a proposal from Umar. Then she received a proposal from Muhammad. She refused all of them.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:63.</ref> Muhammad had to argue her out of her excuses and propose a second time before she finally accepted him.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:63.</ref> They were married on or before 6 April 626.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:61.</ref> Hind’s reluctance to remarry indicates that she was managing quite well on her own.

 

Her exact financial situation is unknown. It is possible that she was financially straitened; it is also possible that her first husband had left her in comfort. But her actions prove that she was not destitute.

Although it was obvious that Zaynab had no economic need of a new husband, modern historians sometimes claim that she might have had a social or moral need to remarry. They report such claims as, “Before Islam, the Arabs did not allow divorcees to remarry,”<ref>Abdallati, H. ''Islam in Focus'', pp.177-179, cited in [http://answering-islam.org/Shamoun/mhd_marriages.htm/ “Rebuttal to Sam Shamoun’s Article Muhammad’s Multiplicity of Marriages”] in ''Answering Christianity''.</ref> and that her divorce “made her unfit to marry a status conscious Arab.”<ref>[http://www.scribd.com/doc/133159128/The-Real-Men-of-the-Renaissance-Badreddine-Belhamissi/ Aly, A. (1999). ''The Real Men of the Renaissance'', p. 26. Belhamissi.]</ref> This is an imaginary problem. There is no evidence that the Arabs forbade divorced women to remarry. On the contrary, Abu Sufyan’s favourite wife, Hind bint Utbah, had been a divorcée.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165; Al-Suyuti, ''Tarikh al-Khulafa''. Translated by Jarrett, H. S. (1881). ''History of the Caliphs'', pp. 200-201. Calcutta: The Asiatic Society.</ref> Abu Sufyan's clan, the Umayyads, had been the dominant clan of the Quraysh even before Abu Sufyan became the high chief of Mecca;<ref>E.g., see Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> what was socially acceptable for the Umayyads was, by definition, acceptable for everyone. Muhammad did not marry Zaynab to rescue her from social disapprobation; rather, he created significant social disapprobation in order that he might marry her.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 9}}. "The ''Munafiqun'' made this a topic of their conversation and reviled the Prophet, saying, 'Muhammad prohibits (marriage) with the (former) wives of one's own sons, but he married the (former) wife of his son Zayd.'"</ref>

To claim that Muhammad married Rayhanah because she was “a poor widow” is perverse. Rayhanah was a member of the [[The Genocide of Banu Qurayza|Qurayza]] tribe,<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 164-165}}.</ref> whom Muhammad besieged in 627. When the tribe surrendered, Muhammad ordered that every adult male should be decapitated, that every woman and child should become his slave and that all the property was forfeit to the Islamic state.<ref>Guillaume/Ibn Ishaq 689-692.</ref> So Rayhanah was only a widow because Muhammad had killed her husband and she was only poor because Muhammad had appropriated her property.

If Muhammad had made enquiries about how to help the Qurayza slaves, he would have quickly realised that Rayhanah was one of the least destitute, for she was only a Quraziya by marriage. By birth she belonged to the Nadir tribe,<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 164-165}}.</ref> who were currently residing in the date-farms of Khaybar.<ref> Guillaume/Ishaq 437-438.</ref> If Muhammad had wanted to provide for Rayhanah, he would have sent her back to her own family. The Nadir were making every effort to assist the surviving Qurayza. They searched the Arabian slave-markets and they bought back as many Qurayza women and children as they found there.<ref>Cited in [http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/content/massacre-ban%C5%AB-quray%E1%BA%93-re-examination-tradition?lang=english/ Kister, M. J. (1986). The Massacre of the Banū Qurayẓa: A Re-Examination of a Tradition. ''Jerusalem Studies in Arabic and Islam, 8'', 61-96.]</ref> Since Rayhanah was a Nadriya by birth, her tribe would certainly have ransomed her too if only she had been for sale.

Ramlah and her first husband, Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh, were among the early converts to Islam who emigrated to Abyssinia in 615.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 146; {{Tabari|39|p. 177}}.</ref> “They were safely ensconced there and were grateful for the protection of the ''Negus'' [King]; could serve Allah without fear; and the ''Negus'' had shown them every hospitality.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 148.</ref> It is not known how the exiles earned their living, but they must have found a means of subsistence, for they all stayed at least four years. Forty of them returned to Arabia in 619, only to discover that Mecca was still not a safe place for Muslims.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 167-168.</ref> After the Muslim victory at Badr in 624, however, the exiles realised that they would be safe in Medina, and they began to leave for Arabia in small groups.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 527-529.</ref> About half of them remained in Abyssinia, Ramlah and Ubaydullah among them.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 527.</ref> There is no obvious reason why they could not have gone to Medina, where all of Ubaydullah’s siblings lived,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 214-215. Ubaydullah’s eldest brother was married to Ramlah’s sister.</ref> so presumably their continuation in Abyssinia was voluntary.

Ubaydullah died in Abyssinia.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:68.</ref> This should not have made much difference to Ramlah’s economic position. If he had been running some kind of business, she could have taken it over; and if he had had any savings, she would have inherited them. In fact he had been an alcoholic,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:68: “He gave himself over to drinking wine until he died.”</ref> so it is possible that she had already needed to fend for herself for several years. She had chosen to remain in Abyssinia rather than join her family in Medina, so presumably she could have continued to do whatever she was doing indefinitely. Widowhood now gave her the option of remarriage. There were twelve single men in the community but only four single women, of whom two were elderly, so Ramlah and her teenaged daughter could have easily found suitors had they wished to marry.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 526-527. This list shows that the group also included four married couples and six children under 13.</ref>

Muhammad must have heard from the returned emigrants about their lives in Abyssinia, so he could not have been under any wrong impression that Ramlah was in need of “rescuing”. In fact, even if she had needed to be rescued, there is no real reason why she would have had to marry Muhammad; she could have simply gone to Medina and lived with her family. Further, if Muhammad had for some reason believed that Ramlah needed to marry, and to marry himself, as a matter of survival, this opens the question of why he did not also propose marriage to the other two widows. They were elderly and of the peasant class,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq pp. 179, 526-528. The details here show that the two ladies had been married to a pair of brothers, i.e. were probably of a similar age. One of them was the older sister of the mother of Ramlah’s foster-mother. Hence she must have been ''at least'' 30 years, and more likely 40 years, older than Ramlah, who was then 35. The family is described as “freed”, i.e. ex-slaves.</ref> but this should not have mattered to a true Prophet who did not care about youth, beauty, rank or wealth.

Muhammad’s family – not only his wives and descendants, but his extended family too – lived off the wealth of Khaybar for the rest of their lives.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 521-523.</ref> Since Safiya represented the leading family of Khaybar,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 437-438.</ref> there is a very real sense in which Muhammad’s whole clan was living at her expense. Muhammad was not providing for Safiya; it was she who provided for him.

Muhammad sent his delegation to the Governor of Egypt in the final month of 6 A.H. (April or May 628).<ref>{{Tabari|8|p. 98}}.</ref> It was 7 A.H. by the time the Governor responded by sending Mariyah to Medina,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:148.</ref> but presumably he did this fairly soon after receiving the delegation. So Mariyah was probably in Medina by the summer of 628. It is not certain what services Mariyah performed for Muhammad’s household in exchange for being fed and sheltered. It is never indicated that she sang or danced or similar. Rather, the statement “The Messenger of Allah was alone with his slavegirl Maria in Hafsa’s room”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:149.</ref> suggests that Mariyah did housework for Hafsah, much as Barira did for Aisha.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 496.</ref> Whatever the arrangement was, it saved Mariyah from destitution. (Muhammad could also have saved her from destitution by manumitting her and sending her back to her family in Egypt. But he did not think of this.)

It was several months, perhaps over a year, before Muhammad took Mariyah as his concubine. Her son was born between 25 March and 22 April 630.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:149.</ref> This suggests that her month alone with Muhammad, when he refused to speak to his official wives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:136-137.</ref> was around July 629. The wives’ strong reaction to the situation<ref>See the story in Bewley/Saad 8:49. It is also told in {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, although Mariyah’s part in the story is minimised.</ref> indicates that they had only just found out that the housemaid had become a concubine - that is, she had not been a concubine for very long. So in this preceding year before becoming his concubine, Mariya had nevertheless lived at Muhammad’s expense; and she continued to live at his expense afterwards.

Mariyah obviously did not “need” to be Muhammad’s concubine. He had already spent a year demonstrating that it was possible for her to live in his household without sleeping with him.

Asma was a wealthy princess from Yemen who had lived all her life in luxury.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. Her tribe, the Kindah, were the rulers of Yemen.</ref> Her father hinted that he found Muhammad’s standard 12½ ounces of silver a “stingy” dower, but was forced to accept that this was all Asma would be paid.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}.</ref>

Muhammad selected Tukanah as one of his personal slaves. After that he had to feed her whether he slept with her or not. So the fact that she became his concubine did not reduce her poverty. She would still have been living at his expense if she had only been his housemaid.

Nothing is known about this woman except that she was a domestic maid (a slave) before she became a concubine.<ref>Ibn Al-Qayyim, ''Zaad Al-Maad'' vol. 1 p. 29, cited in Al-Mubarakpuri, S. R. (2002). ''The Sealed Nectar'', pp. 564-565. Riyadh: Darussalam.</ref> So Muhammad had to support her whether he slept with her or not. Once again, he could have equally well “saved her from poverty” if he had simply left her as a domestic maid.

Muhammad himself never claimed that he married women out of compassion for their poverty. On the contrary, he asserted that he, and men in general, chose their wives for four basic motives: for their money, for their family connections, for their beauty and for their piety. He added: “So you should marry the pious woman or you will be a loser.”<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|27}}.</ref> The suggestion that Muhammad’s many marriages were motivated by a charitable concern for the welfare of widows is not found in the early sources. This theory seems to have been devised by a few modern historians and then uncritically accepted by others.